Hi Everyone!

I put this together as a way for people to track my adventures while I plan to travel around the world.  I’ll try to update this as much as possible, but we’ll see how that goes once I get along the way.  This is part travel blog, part therapeutic release, so if you’re just looking for pictures of food and cool places my Instagram is probably your best bet.  Otherwise, you’re welcome along for the ride.

What Spurred This Trip?

My mom passed away 4 years ago today, after a 12 year battle with cancer.  She was one of the defining influences in my life.  I’ve been struggling the last 4 years to live with her loss, to varying degrees of success.  My family has been my foundation during this time, but I’m finally realizing I don’t know who I am anymore.  As much support as I’ve received from friends and family during this time, I found it was time to re-discover myself.  So, through lots of creative ideas and consultation, I’ve found this plan to travel the world and see who I find.

Though not the ideal circumstances to spark a trip around the world, I’m finally excited about an opportunity like this and am blessed to have the support of my friends and family while I go.  I’m nervous and apprehensive, as it’s been awhile since I’ve traveled abroad, but I’m confident this will help me on my path towards healing.

What’s the Itinerary?

Right now I’m in Hawaii staying with my aunt and uncle on the Big Island, a place that’s recently become a soul-recharging spot for me.  I thought this was the perfect place to jump off into the unknown; a last way station of familiarity before the real work begins.  From here I’m planning to fly to Japan after Thanksgiving for a little less than two weeks.  After Japan, I’ll fly to Taipei for a few days, then Vietnam for a week, Thailand for a week, Christmas in Bali, then off to Australia for New Years.

At this point, I’m just trying to take it month-by-month, but am trying to eventually hit up Europe, Africa, and South America by the end of it.  My plan right now is to travel through the end of April, but I’m also trying to listen to and trust myself as to what is best for me.  So if that means staying longer somewhere or coming home earlier, then that’s what I’ll do.  But I’m trying to stay present and not worry about the future and what I can’t control.

How’s It Going So Far?

Well, the magnitude of what I’m doing sunk in after my friend Sunita helped me finish packing up my car with all of my worldly possessions to drive down home to LA.  I’m in a 2004 Camry filled to the brim with boxes, shoes, shirts, and (of course) a cello riding shotgun when I start to cry on the drive out of San Francisco.  I’m thinking of all the friends I’m leaving behind and wondering if this is the right thing to do when I change the radio station.  “Dreams” by The Cranberries starts playing and I just lose it because I know this is a sign from Mom, encouraging me and letting me know it’s alright.

So here I am, now full on sobbing and laughing hysterically at this cosmic sign, riding down the highway in my heavily-laden car that’s missing a hubcap, getting passed by everyone as I try to gasp out lyrics between breaths.  Imagine some weird combination of Claire Danes ugly cry and Jack Nicholson magical laugh and you’re pretty much there.  I’m sure it was a sight to behold.  And this proceeds to go on for the next 20 minutes.  It was one of the most euphoric moments of my life, and once spent from this spewing of emotion, left me excited about the future.

After moving my stuff back home at 29 (thanks, clichés) I spent some quality time with my Dad and Conrad and prepped for the long trip ahead.  Fortunately, our house was spared from the Woolsey Fire, otherwise I probably would’ve just joined a Buddhist monastery in Tibet and renounced all my non-existent worldly possessions.

That’s it for updates for now, and thanks for reading if you got this for.  I’m going to enjoy the rest of my time in Hawaii and plan for Japan.  Also, since it’s her anniversary, here’s a link to a scholarship my family set up in honor of Mom and all that she represented: Catherine Bigelow Gullickson Scholarship

Miss you every day Mom, and thanks again for your nudge in my moment of doubt.  Definitely adding The Cranberries to my travel playlist 😀.

Much Love,

Ben