As I start writing this post in the Athens airport at 4:15am while waiting for my flight to Tel Aviv, I am being charmed by the dulcet sounds of a samba muzak cover of Black Eyed Peas’ “I’ve Got A Feeling” and I can’t think of anywhere else I would rather be in the universe. Some people are blessed with great wealth, beauty, or charm. I’m blessed with this moment which I will cherish for the rest of my life.

Serifos

My journey to Greece was quite arduous, as I left Venice on an 8am flight and finally made it to my destination after 8pm. It was a plane to Athens, a train to the harbor Piraeus, and a ferry to Serifos. Word of advice for those of you visiting Greece in the future: opt for the fast ferry, that slow one ain’t worth the savings, honey. I arrived on this little Greek island and got settled into my Cycladic house (a house ala the style of the Cycladies, natch) and explored town. 2 minutes later I was back at my place trying to decide between one of the 3 places that were open for dinner. I finally settled on a souvlaki place and then called it a night.

“How did I decide on Serifos?”, I’m sure you’re wondering. Well, that was quite a difficult decision because there’s so many options, but I saw that the weather wasn’t going to be that great in most places so I wanted to find somewhere small that I didn’t need a car to explore around on. I’d read that Serifos was more local, out of the way, and was a good combination of beaches, mountains, and local culture. Which ended up all being true, so it was good in that regard.

I started off my first full day hiking up from my place in the harbor to the town up in the mountains. It was a beautiful sight with this small town spattered on the top of a mountain, the white walls and blue roofs blending in with the sky as it rose from the ground below. I got to the top and had some amazing views, but the bracing wind and the cool late morning air buffeted me to find a cafe somewhere for some breakfast and warmth. Once fed, I made my way up to the mountain pass beyond town towards the north side of the island. I made the first part of the trip just find, but as I was following what I thought was the hiking trail, I ended up getting lost in a ridge above where the route was supposed to be. It’s not like it was a huge deal, as the island was small and navigable, and there was no forest or growth to get lost in; it was all low shrubs and rock outcropping. But the wind. Oh my god the wind.

I have never been anywhere where the wind has been as forceful as the half hour I spent walking back down to the road to regain the trail. It was ceaseless and insistent, causing me to lean into while walking. The first 5 minutes were fine as it helped me to cool off from my hike, but then it started to annoy me. Then I started to get angry because it wasn’t abating. Then by the time I had reached the top of the peak and I could see the road I needed to get to, it was straight up trying to lift me off of the island. By this point I was so angry I started yelling at the wind. That’s right, I got into a full blown shouting match with wind, a force of nature. I was screaming at the top of my lungs, beyond upset at this fucking wind, how fucking stupid it was, and how it needed to fucking stop. Then I started to taunt it, shouting if that’s the best it had. I called it a bitch. I called it a piece of shit. I called it a motherfucker. I was resilient and I wasn’t going to let that wind beat me. I finally made it back to the road having vanquished my opponent. As I started walking down the road I busted out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was, full catharsis having been reached as my anger and frustration was siphoned away by yelling at the top of my lungs from a mountain.

I enjoyed the rest of my walk to the other side of the island, soaking up the sun and all the wildflowers in bloom. I ran into maybe 2 other people the entire 5 hours I was hiking, so I definitely got the solitude I was looking for in coming to Serifos. Once I made it back up to the top of the hill overlooking the main town, I sat on the path, arrested by the beauty of the sight down below me. The sun was going down over the top of the mountains, the bay was glittering in the light, and the white town on the mountain shone. I had the sudden urge to listen to “Rhapsody on a Theme of Paganini, Variation XVIII” by Rachmaninoff, and I was overcome by the beauty of everything about that moment. Once back in town I stopped by the market and got some snacks and had a lazy evening on my balcony watching the sun go down. Another souvlaki dinner and some Greek desserts capped my night as I turned in beat from the activities of the day.

The next day I was still sore from all the hiking I did, so I planned on having a slower day by the beach and do some reading. I walked to a nearby beach hoping I could find a sheltered spot. But then my old nemesis, that fucking wind, showed up as I tried in vain time and time again to find a spot away from its clutches. Eventually I had enough and resigned myself to the comforts of humanity and returned home to its glorious four walls and heating apparati. It was nice to just kick back and let the day ease on by and let the stress of my annoyance at the wind fade away.

Milos

The next morning I left the island of Serifos, catching the ferry to nearby Milos. I arrived to town in the afternoon and was thrilled at the calm weather and warm sun this island had. After catching a ride up to my lodgings, I set out and started exploring around the island. Milos was more populated and less barren than Serifos, though it being the offseason it was still quiet and light on people. I explored a few of the beaches around, weaving my way in and out of some of the small idyllic towns along the way. The sight of the white houses and blue roofs never got old. Spring was in full bloom and I thoroughly enjoyed walking through the numerous fields of daisies that were on the hiking trails. Fully inspired by these sights I put on “Appalachian Spring” by Aaron Copland and made my way back home as the sun was starting to set.

I had another moment like I did in Italy, where I found a stunning vista that stopped me in my tracks. I sat there as the “Simple Gifts” theme began in “Appalachian Spring” started to play and just started to fully lose it. I’ve always found “Simple Gifts” one of the most beautiful songs and the arrangement of it in “Appalachian Spring” takes it to its ultimate potential. It’s the most lush, pastoral, emotive, and stirring sections in music I’ve ever heard. And now every time I hear it I brings up so many emotions for me. It reminds me of Mom. It reminds me of Maureen. It brings hope and joy. It brings optimism and potential. It’s what I want my life to be, and it’s what I want to make others feel. Music stirs up so many emotions and feelings in me, and I don’t know if there’s anything that does it more than that passage in “Appalachian Spring”.

So there I was on the side of the road in Greece just full on ugly sobbing. Eventually I got it together and floated on up to the top of a church in town to watch the sun set on the horizon. At this point I realized it was Easter, and couldn’t think of a better way to have spent it than enjoying the natural beauty of the world. If Easter is a time of new beginnings and change, then I hope the day I had portends a good path for me in the future.

After a quick FaceTime session with the family, I found a local spot for dinner, where I ended up having the best meal I had while in Greece. It was a true local’s place, with no menu, the options only listed out to you by the waitress. I ended up getting an appetizer of tomatoes, olives, olive oil, and feta piled sky high on a hunk of rusk bread. After I devoured that I had a plate of pork, peppers, and potatoes in a delicious sauce. I don’t know what anything was called, but oh my god was it good. To top it off they gave me a little tapioca dessert made with goat’s milk that was so creamy and tasty I could’ve sat there licking the cup clean. Fully satisfied I walked home with a smile on my face, happy with what a wonderful day I had. It was also fitting that I was in the middle of finishing up “Gilead” by Marilynn Robinson, so all in all I had a pretty on-the-nose Easter.

Athens

I flew out the next morning back to Athens (yes, some of the islands have airports) after a hearty Greek breakfast. I wasn’t feeling that well, given the combination of sweaty hiking and bracing winds was not a good one for my health. However, I was only in Athens for the day so I sucked it up, popped some Tylenol, and made my way out into the city. After balking at the €20 price of seeing the Parthenon and Acropolis I admired it from afar. It was incredible how it rises out of the middle of the sprawl of the city, commanding an impressive view from the center of everything. I’m not sure if my time in Egypt left me jaded, but I wasn’t as impressed with the ruins in Greece as I was with what I saw in Egypt. To me it was just a bunch of old rocks and broken pillars. But maybe that was also a bit of the light fever talking.

I found Athens to be a very dirty city. There was trash everywhere, and I’ve never seen so much graffiti in my life. It’s everywhere you look: ruins, buildings, benches, train cars, and sidewalks. I’m sure if pigeons were slower they would be ripe for tagging. And seeing as humanity is universal, the one tag I saw most prevalently was a basic drawing of dick, because of course it was. I’m sure if the ruins of Ancient Greek society were better preserved you’d find them there too. After wandering through town with a falafel in hand and passing a bunch of shops and stores (including, bizarrely, a cafe themed after the scene in Mary Poppins where the gang jumps into one of Bert’s sidewalk chalk paintings and there’s the fair and the penguins). After many frequent stops to catch my breath and stop sweating, I made it back to my hotel and took a quick nap. I had a last meal of mousaka and kebabs before my 4 hour nap prior to my 2:45am wake up call to catch the 3am bus to be at the airport at 4am for my 6am flight to Tel Aviv. When I first made this booking weeks back I wasn’t sure what I was thinking, and I still don’t. Which brings me full circle to the sweet sounds of a Black Eyed Peas, and what is a better metaphor for the journey of life than that?

All told I spent 5 days in Greece, and I get the appeal. Next time I’d probably like to come when it’s warmer, and there’s so many islands it’d be fun to try new ones. But I wouldn’t rule out coming back to Milos; I really enjoyed it. There’s a nice way of life in Greece, and it helps that almost everyone speaks pretty good English. The Aegean Sea is beautiful, and the juxtaposition of the islands with the water is stunning.

The next leg of my journey takes me to Israel where I’m hoping for some better weather. And so help me god if there’s wind…

King of the Mountain,

Ben

Salaam!

Well, it took all day to fly into my next destination of Cairo as it was raining in Dubai (who’da thunk?) and had to connect in Muscat, Oman. And that definitely led to me stress-eating from the fear that I’d miss my connection, only to find out I had to wait an extra two hours for the OTHER flight from Dubai that was also delayed. Real good awareness there.

I ended up getting in late, waited for my bag — which has consistently had the honor of being on of the last ones on the carousel — and got ready for the journey…three minutes away to an airport hotel. I really didn’t know any details while booking this tour, only where I would be going and what I would be seeing. I didn’t know how I’d be getting there, where I’d be staying, who was taking me, or where I’d get my food. But the culmination of that realization and the slog of the day of travel brought derisive humor as I looked in the bathroom mirror and wondered what the hell I was doing.

The next day I met my tour guide and we into Giza to see the pyramids. What a way to start my time in Egypt; a once in a lifetime experience. They are massive, beautiful, and true works of art. A wonder of engineering and design, they lose none of their impressiveness millennia after they were built. Made of limestone and cool to the touch in the warming sun, it was more harrowing to dodge the throngs of tourists queuing up to get into the chambers than it was to climb the hewn-stone sides. After seeing Khufu up close I went to a vantage point where I could see all three, then traveled down to the Sphinx, which was built to protect the second one (the one that still has its stone condom on.) Of course there were little baby pyramids built for the wives, three each for two of the pharaohs, because women can’t have as nice of things as men.

After that visit I was shepherded to glorified infomercials at papyrus and essence “museums.” There was no obligation to buy anything, but no one told the salespeople that. Thus began the start of the constant barrage of sales pitches and demands that would pester me for the rest of my time in Egypt. The one caveat was that I did enjoy the scent of papyrus essence, and learned that sandalwood makes a good essence to smooth aches and pains. Might have to stop at my local apothecary back home to make some purchases.

We then stopped at the Museum of Egyptian Antiquities where I got to see the largest collection of Egyptian artifacts I’ve ever seen in my life. It was like an Egyptian IKEA, a warehouse of wares that were so numerous they overflowed the halls in haphazard placement. Most impressive was the complete collection of Tutankhamen’s tomb, which was an utter masterpiece. Perfectly preserved and with a bounty of objects and offerings, the level of detail and craftsmanship that went into all the elements of preserving Egyptian royalty was astounding. The burial chamber, death mask, and sarcophogous were all detailed in gold, scattered with hieroglyphs that made it even more opulent. I was having a full-on Rachel Wiesz in “The Mummy” moment and I was living for the egyptologist role-play I had been craving. While photos weren’t allowed, it was a memorable time and worth a trip to Cairo alone.

After gawking over numerous more mummies and sarcophagi and organ containers and statues and bas reliefs, we called it a day and began the last leg of my tour that day: being held hostage in the tour van to negotiate additional ventures during my time in Egypt. These were optional tours I could do beyond what was already included, offered at an outrageous sum for one person. I kept negotiating to drive the price down seeing as I had unexpectedly stumbled into a private tour, an unintended side effect of my lack of understanding of the details of this tour. Eventually we settled onto a price and I was graciously released to go back to the hotel. The “5 Star” airport hotel. At least the breakfast buffet was good, and definitely got some money back out of that. Once a buffet king, always a buffet king.

My next day I had free to myself so I slept in a little bit and tried to plan some of the next steps of my adventure. Instead I farted around, browsed the internet, and threw together my things for a last-minute checkout. I decided to take the bus into downtown because what’s a foreign adventure without not knowing where you’re going or how to get there?! I eventually caught the right bus and got dropped off in the heart of the city, looking every bit like a tall, blonde yeti doing a terrible job of being undiscovered in the middle of the desert. It was during my adventures in the city on that day that led me to think this must’ve been what it would’ve been like to go to China without knowing the language. It was crowded, confusing, people were staring everywhere I went, it was loud and smoggy, and everyone spoke a language I didn’t understand. There was a certain level of chaos that you just went with, namely in crossing the street. It’s like if Frogger were a real-life playable game, as you simply jump into traffic and tango your way through the intersections in hopes of not getting sideswiped. Eventually I got the hang of it and it was quite fun, though the version I was playing was on the easiest setting: Tall White American. What I learned during my time in China is that someone who looks like me is not someone you want to be hitting with your car, so I gladly leveraged that advantage.

I made my way to the bazaars, which is where Egypt really smacked me in the face. There is not a man, woman, or child who doesn’t want to part you with your money. Every interaction is a way to get you to buy something or give them money. Nothing is free in Egypt: pictures, water, bathrooms, advice, directions, nothing. In a way it’s one of the most purely capitalist countries I’ve been to in my life. In another way, it’s completely and utterly exhausting knowing every interaction comes with strings attached and comes with a price. My favorite was a shop owner who threw out, “Hello my friend, how can I take your money?” I liked the honesty.

Eventually I had enough and made my way back to the hotel (via public transit, obvi) and caught a car to the station for an overnight train down to Aswan, the southernmost city in Egypt. The seats were surprisingly comfortable and I wasn’t that massive of a monster in the morning. I got picked up by my guide who took me to the amazing sites of Aswan that included…a dam and a semi-finished obelisk. Truly awe-inspiring start to my tour down south. I did enjoy the confusion of the fact that Upper Egypt is in the south and Lower Egypt is in the north. This is due to the fact that the country slopes down from the mountains in the south, hence why the Nile flows from south to north.

I relaxed in my room on the boat that afternoon and emerged later that evening for the cruise buffet which would be a variation on a broken record for the next three days. It was, and I quote from memory of the order of the stations: rice, veggies, beef, chicken, potatoes, fish, soup. Then you’d have the bread station, carving station, and dessert. And it was these exact same foods for lunch and dinner EVERY DAY. Did I eat anything else? Nope. Did I leave the boat to get dinner in port towns? Nope. Did I have two plates at every meal? You betcha!

The next day was an early start of 4am to drive three hours through the Sahara Desert to the temple of Abu Simbel, a highlight of the trip. This was temples for King Ramses II and Queen Nefertari that were carved into the sides of a mountain, later brought up to a higher location when the dam was being created. It was my first Indiana Jones moment and I was LIVING for it. OMG did I feel like an archeologist. The pictures can’t really do it justice and capture the incredible feat of architecture, design, and artistry. Also, the level of egotism on Ramses II must’ve even been greater than that of Clint Eastwood getting to write, direct and star in his umpteenth film about a cranky old white man.

The rest of the day was spent on the cruise heading up north, which gave me time to process Abu Simbel and its beauty. Ok ok ok, I just napped because I was so exhausted from the last two days of travel. That evening we stopped in Kom-Ombo and got to see the temple there, which was dedicated to the crocodile god Sobek-Ra. We got there for sunset and it made for an enchanting experience, especially as the hieroglyphs started to change colors in the light. Also saw some really disgusting mummified crocodiles, which put a damper on my appetite that night. Which meant I ended up having three plates of dessert that night instead of two…

We had arrived in Edfu overnight, unbeknownst to me since I had left my curtains and window wide open, giving the cruise ship that was an arm’s length away quite the morning show. The first and only tour of the day was at Edfu Temple, which is a giant Ptolemaic temple for the god Horus, the one with a falcon head and a human body. The only thing you need to know about the Ptolemaic period (for you non-history buffs) is that it was the Romans who wanted to be Egyptians, so you got a cool blending of cultures and architectural styles. After that it was back to the boat, and the rest of the day was spent sailing up the Nile river, which was a total treat. It’s beautiful to have the lush Nile snaking its way through the harsh landscape of the desert crowding all along its curves, threatening to encroach on the paradise that its created at any moment. I also spent most of this day up on the pool deck planning out the next stages of my trip, which was the ideal place to do so.

The last day of my cruise was a busy one, having arrived in Luxor overnight. I know what you’re thinking: “How could he possibly have gotten all the way from Egypt to Vegas in one night?” Time travel is real and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We headed over to the West Bank of the Nile, which in Egypt was considered the land of the dead, seeing as the sun set on that side. Our first stop was another stunner: The Temple of Queen Hatshepsut. It was a three-tiered plain temple carved into the side of the mountain on the backside of the Valley of the Kings, where she wasn’t allowed to be buried. But all her life, girlfriend made her own rules, including being depicted as a man in carvings and paintings, ruling in lieu of her stupid bratty stepson (because fuck misogynistic laws), and telling everyone Amun-Ra (the main god of Egypt) was her real father. Needless to say she and her gorgeous temple were my favorite.

This was followed by the Valley of the Kings, where all the major kings of Egypt were buried, including where Tutankhamen was found. It was nice to see all the tombs, but after a while they all started to look the same. It didn’t help there were about 13 Ramses, which I guess when you got a sweet name, why stray from the course?

We then popped back to the East Bank of the Nile (land of the living) to see the Temple of Karnak and the Temple of Luxor. Karnak was the biggest one in all of Egypt, and it was mind-blowingly impressive. My favorite part was this hypostyle chamber that had 134 massive columns. There was this magical point where the sun was setting, a section of it was completely free of other tourists, and I felt like I was in the mines of Moria from the Fellowship of the Rings. You know what scene I’m talking about, fam. I broke out into a huge grin and wandered around in a meditative daze.

After that was the Luxor Temple, which by this point it was now over 85ºF and I realized I’d reach my limits with the tour, the guide, and temples. But I did my duty and snapped some picks, ogled some hieroglyphs, and paced around with my hands behind my back in fake-solemnity taking in the splendor of the ancients. Soon it was back to the boat to change in the communal bathroom (as my room was vacated), shower (run a damp paper towel around my body) and get ready for my trip back to Cairo (another overnight train…yay).

You should be proud of me because at 1am a small child in my car decided to start screaming at the top of his lungs every 30 seconds, and I somehow DID NOT throw him out of the train. Pulling deep into my bag of tricks and finding a white noise app, I gritted through the rest of the trip and made it back to Cairo having not completely fallen apart. Only to have what followed be the worst day I had in Egypt during an all-day tour up to Alexandria. I don’t know if it was because I didn’t sleep much on the overnight train, or because I had reached my limit of tours, or because my tour guide didn’t speak English, or because the driver didn’t know his way around and kept getting lost, or because he was driving 40km/hr under the speed limit on the freeway, or because I didn’t learn a single thing on the tour, or because the one thing I wanted to see, the Library of Alexandria, no longer existed, but I shut down. Not to say it was all a waste, as I learned that I have deep reserves of patience beyond where I thought they reached. And I got a sizeable chunk of the way through another one of my books. But in the end I knew it was out of my control and went with the day-long train wreck that it was. I could have gotten a lot angrier, demanded more, tried something to turn it around. But based on my time spent in Egypt and what I knew about the culture, I knew that wouldn’t change things. So I just gave into the awful experience, and everything turned out. Even when I was taken to the wrong hotel and had to go through rush-hour traffic in the heart of Cairo to get to my hotel by the airport. It was all good to me by then.

Overall, I had an amazing and exhausting time in Egypt. The tour cruise was definitely the way to go, but I’m sure like most tours, it can be made or broken by the tour guides that you get. I was very uncomfortable being on a private tour, as I didn’t like having someone talk directly at me for hours of a day on end, and I felt a lot more pressure to tip and buy souvenirs at the tourist choke points. I don’t know if it was lack of ability to communicate fully, the Egyptian culture of aggressive upselling, or the fact that I was alone, but I was never really comfortable during my time in Egypt. I always had to be alert, always had to prepare for a sales pitch, always had to be ready to decline the multidue of offers hurled my way. There wasn’t really a moment of rest, and I realized after it was all done what a burden that was for me to take on alone.

But for the history and culture that Egypt has, all of that was well worth it. To feel the history is something I can’t properly convey, as some of the structures you can see and even touch are over 3,000 years old. And look like they were made just a few hundred years ago! It really is beautiful in so many ways, and I couldn’t get enough of the hieroglyphs. It was such a remarkable and memorable experience, but it came to a close at the right time. More to come from the African leg of my adventures. And I can finally say I’ve been to Africa!

Inshallah,

Ben

Just when you thought three full posts and a plethora of pictures wasn’t enough to fully capture my time in New Zealand, get ready cause Imma bout to hit you with that sweet, sweet bonus content. That’s right ladies and gentleman, these are the special features of the DVD box set that accompanies the original trilogy! This is for all those fun insights and interesting behind-the-scenes looks that wouldn’t fit into the main posts. And by that I mean it’s just a bunch of stats because I’m a geek and actually went back and collated all this data for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

New Zealand

• Days Spent in New Zealand: 24
• Number of Lodgings: 10
• Islands Visited: 1/2
• South Island Regions Traversed: 7/7
• Southernmost Latitude Reached: -46.66º
• Distance Driven: 5,007km (3,111 miles)
• Driving Time: 68 hrs
• Gas Consumed: 402 liters (106 gallons)
• Amount Spent on Gas: $824 NZD ($560 USD)
• Audiobooks Listened to: 7 (80 hours)
• Distance Hiked: 293.5 miles
• Single Day Hiking Max: 23.8 miles
• Daily Hiking Average: 12.23 miles
• Steps Taken: 538,485
• Single Day Steps Max: 43,064
• Daily Steps Average: 22,436
• Cumulative Elevation Hiked: 12,009 meters (39,400 feet)
• Highest Elevation Hiked: 1,833 meters (6,014 feet)
• Peaks Climbed: 12
• Pairs of Shoes Destroyed: 1
• Sore Knees: 2
• Advil Popped: 114
• Hardboiled Eggs Eaten: 66
• Water Dranken: 93 liters (24.5 gallons)
• Chocolate Slabs Devoured: 12 (200g/each)
• Blocks of Cheese Hoovered: 5 (250g/each)
• Nuts and Seeds Eaten: 4.3 kg
• National Parks Visited: 5/7 (South Island only)
• Pictures Taken: 824
• Videos Shot: 23
• Cups of Coffee: 52
• Glaciers Seen: 9
• Seasons of RuPauls’ Drag Race Watched: 5
• Number of plays of the LOTR soundtrack: 6 (per movie)
• Bug Bites: 7
• Favorite Hike: Routeburn Track
• Favorite Town: Tekapo
• Favorite Food: Whittaker’s Dark Ghana chocolate bar
• Favorite Body of Water: ALL OF THEM
• Favorite View: ALL OF THEM
• LOTR Sites Visited: 7
• Top of the Lake Sites Visited: 2
• Times Cried Due to Sheer Beauty: Too Many to Count
• Happiest of Boys: 1

Thanks for staying for the deep cut of my trip; it was fun and impressive to see how far I went and all that I was able to do. And if anyone needs an itinerary for a 3-week trip to New Zealand in the future, I’ve got the perfect one for you.

As for my next steps, I’m in Sydney for a few days and overlap with Anna and Scott, which will give me some much-needed family time. Then it’s off to my next destination, which you’ll have to read my next post to find out!

Byeeeeeeeee!

Ben

Well the inevitable finally happened: I had to leave New Zealand. I knew this day would come and while my body was ready for it, my heart was not and I was sad to leave. It was an amazing three weeks jam-packed with adventure and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Here’s the last week of my trip, but stay tuned because just like the LOTR DVDs, there’s bonus features! Without further ado, my last week in New Zealand.

February 13

I stopped in Arthur’s Pass on the way up north, which is the main route between the East and West Coasts. I had met a couple of people on the Franz Josef glacier hike who said Avalanche Peak was worth checking out, so that’s where I went. And boy oh boy, was it worth it! It was the first time on this trip that I was above the clouds, and it was an incredible experience. It was beyond cool to see the jutting peaks above a sea of white and lose the sensation of being on earth. Surreal. After such a high (literally!) I enjoyed the long drive up north and met up with Lily (recurring character alert!) again and planned our next adventure.

February 14

With Lily in tow (her van/house getting fixed), we headed up to Abel Tasman and explored the national park up there. It began a theme for the next few days of the windiest roads I’ve been on, but the one this day led to a neat little hike and wound to the ocean. It was a bright sunny day and the waters were especially enticing and blue.

February 15

After our easy little hike on the north side of the park, we decided to ramp it up and do an 18km hike that we had to water taxi to the start. After 45 minutes of getting ocean water sprayed in my face (I always pick the best seats), we got off on a beach and began our long trek back. Considering we’re both such incredible hikers, we were making great time so it shifted from a long hike to a bay hop, stopping in most places to swim and relax and enjoy the water. And by water, I’m talking aquamarine, teal, cerulean, turquoise, and every color in between. It was what I thought Thailand should have been like: pristine beaches with the most enticing water, beckoning for you to come swim. All in all, it was a fab day and a great way to explore the park.

February 16

Having exhausted a good chunk of Abel Tasman we drove up to Marlborough Sound, which is the northernmost part of South Island, accounting for nearly 1/5th of New Zealand’s coastline. But the way up told me to hold my beer because THAT was definitely the windiest road I went on in New Zealand. FOR. SURE. However, it was well worth it as the view from our Airbnb was insane. Beautiful 320º views of the sound, and prime position for sunrise and sunset. We had a hot tub sesh, made some dinner, played some checkers, and called it a night.

February 17

While the day before was a bit cloudy and cold, it cleared up the next morning and we went to do a portion of the Queen Charlotte track. While it was a simple walk, this was by far the hardest hike I did mentally because there was nothing to look at, no real physical challenge, and you really had to focus. My mind wandered to some weird places, and the constant and loud buzz of bugs created a trance-like state. After tripping out for a couple hours and feeling a little car sick, we headed back to our lodging (going about 25km/hr) and hung out in the pool and hot tub and had a game night. We also had amazing moon views over dinner.

February 18

Finally parted ways with Lily, and made the drive down the East Coast to Christchurch. It actually reminded me a lot of Big Sur, but more tropical and with bluer water. I stopped in Kaikoura and hiked up to a nice view for a break. When I finally made it to Christchurch I had finished the last of my audiobooks, which was sad because they kept me sane during all my hours in the car.

February 19

After stopping for a night in Christchurch I carried on to Mount Cook, which was an uneventful drive until I got to just outside of Tekapo. I almost drove off the road. There, looming in the distance were the Southern Alps. Full stop, no qualms about it, one of the most arresting sights to drive towards. It truly was like being in the movies, set against the craggy mountains jutting out behind it (but guess who forgot to take a picture of it…).

I eventually wound my way into the mountains and approached the valley entrance to Mount Cook. My hands tightened a little more on the steering wheel because the clouds were getting bigger and darker. By the time I pulled into my lodging, I was full-on in the middle of a gale storm. It was cold and the rain was blowing sideways, but I came all this way, damnit, so you know I was gonna go on a hike! I don’t know if it was being in the car for so long, or the fact that the weather was bad, or the fact that there were so many people on the trail, but I was impatient and angry the whole way. I was getting blown left and right by the wind, the rain was soaking through my shoes, and (worst of all) groups of people were walking slow and wouldn’t let me pass. I eventually got to the viewpoint and the lake looked like the open ocean, the wind was blowing that hard. At that point I’m miserable and storm back the same way, just trying to get inside and warm up. But as I got closer to the trailhead I began to slow my thoughts down and eventually became calm enough to decide to go back a different way and try to enjoy the walk for what it was: time spent outside in a beautiful place.

As I’m walking in the fields along the road, the sun breaks through the clouds, sending shafts of light down into the golden fields causing a rainbow to appear. For the rest of my walk back I’m guided by a rainbow as it leads the way back to town. In that moment I knew Mom was there, giving me a sign to calm down and let me know feelings like this are alright. It was such a simple moment but beautiful in its simplicity. There are times, especially in New Zealand, where I get anxious that I’m not able to do enough or see enough, and I get angry that I can’t do all that I want. I don’t know if this stems from my time with Mom being cut short or feeling a rush to try and do as much as I can before my time comes, but it’s been with me the last several years. I have this feeling a lot in other aspects of my life, and I’m trying to enjoy what I’m able to do and look for joys in the moment. This day was a perfect example of this because even though it was cold and windy and rainy and I didn’t get to see the valley in its full beauty; even though it was crowded with tourists and I wanted to be alone; even though I’d driven all this way on my last couple days and it wasn’t what I imagined, I wouldn’t have seen that rainbow in the fields otherwise. My day led to that, and I wouldn’t have missed that for the world becuase it was just perfect. I’m trying to realize how many things are out of my control in life and to enjoy each day as it comes along, no matter if it doesn’t go how I’d planned. As I was watching the rainbow, I started to cry because there was only one thought that popped into my head and came to my lips: “Today is a good day.”

The moon coming over the mountains that night looked like the start of an old-school horror movie — the wisps of clouds alternatively concealing and revealing the ghostly orb as it illuminated the mountain face just beneath it. Deeper into the valley the fog hazed the view, giving the eerie sensation that it was providing cover for some ancient evil lurking beyond. It was one of the coolest and freakiest sensations I’ve ever had and I stayed up staring out the window from my bed until I eventually fell asleep.

February 20

The morning came and the grey-blue morning slowly gave way to color as the sun slowly worked its way over the mountains. There’s something absolutely magical about going to sleep and waking up in the middle of a mountain range. For me it’s the interplay between the clouds, the mountains, and the light. It’s an alchemy of nature that’s unpredictable, powerful, and beautiful.

It eventually becomes a somewhat nice day and I hiked up the Mueller Hut trail, which affords sweeping views of the valley below and the glacier behind. It was pretty grueling but the views were well worth it. I also blasted the LOTR theme on top of the mountain and was at peace with my adventure coming to an end.

I made it down and enjoyed the sun on the valley floor and slowly made my way to my last stop of Lake Tekapo, stopping at Tasman Valley and Lake Pukaki along the way. It was a bright sunny day that put the blindingly blue waters of the lake into even starker relief. I couldn’t have imagined a better way to spend my last full day in New Zealand, and I know it all was thanks to that rainbow from Mom.

February 21

Not content to have my last day be wasted, I got up at 5am to hike Mount John above Tekapo to see the stars and also the sunrise. While the full moon made it hard to see the stars, it definitely made it easier to fumble up the track in the dark. The view up top was well worth it, as the moon was massive and cast haunting shadows off the mountains and town below. What followed for the next hour was an amazing tug of war on my attentions between the moonset and the sunrise. The sunrise eventually won out because, as you’ll see below, the colors on the cloudy sky were unreal. It was so dramatic and amazing and I’ve run out of adjectives on this trip so I’ll let the photos speak for themselves.

Coming full circle on my trip around the island, I made it back to Christchurch at a meandering pace, letting the life-changing experience sink in. I’m so happy I decided to spend my whole time on the South Island, and still can’t believe a place like that exists on this planet. Truly one of the most beautiful and memorable places I’ve been in my life and something I’ll never forget.

There and back again,

Ben-bo Baggins

I hope you have recovered from the volume and visual overwhelmance (not a word, keep on reading) of the previous because get your eyeballs ready for another onslaught of beauty coming your way! That’s right folks, even more pictures of snow-capped mountains, bodies of water, and selfies of yours truly are in store for this sequel. It’s like the original, just bigger, more expensive, and darker (I’m really bad at lighting my selfies). Without further ado, here’s my second week of me living my Lord of the Rings fantasies.

February 6

My knees mostly (not) recovered after my trip down to Milford, I decided to ramp it right back up on hiking again, because who says I can’t make bad decisions in a foreign country traveling by myself?! Besides that’s what Advil is for. So I went to what I perceived to be a less intense hike up to a mountain saddle. And it’s nice and all, until I get to the top and discover the way down is along a fence line with no real trail. Knees hurting, I go the whole way down backwards, clutching at the fence line and cursing the stupid hike like it’s someone going exactly the speed limit in the fast lane. Here’s all the pictures from the parts I enjoyed and wasn’t cursing the inanimate piece of land I traversed.

February 7

I finally learned my lesson and decided to do something a little less strenuous, which meant a little loop to a lookout and a visit to a real-life LOTR filming site. I also did a loop around another ‘Top of the Lake’ filming site, which warmed my Holly Hunter-loving heart (GJ 4EVA!!). It was a nice change of pace and a good way to bring my time in Queenstown to a close.

February 8

Left Queenstown early in the morning for my next destination of Wanaka, another lake town just to the north. My lodging wasn’t ready yet, so I headed up to another national park and hiked through there. Mount Asipiring is a beautiful park with lots of glacier viewing areas and glacier-carved valleys that stretch deep into the mountain ranges beyond. It was a breathtaking hike and made for a lovely day. No snark on this one, it was just really, really pleasant.

February 9

Went back to Aspiring for a hike up to a glacier view and it felt like I was going into an alien world with the muted gray of the day emanating out of the black and green rock face streaming with waterfalls. After that I tried to walk along another trail but it had a little river crossing and I wasn’t about getting my feet wet, so I turned back and called it a day.

February 10

Headed out of Wanaka to start my trip up the west coast, which meant driving through some really intense gorges and canyons through the mountain range. That made for some difficult driving because it’s tough to gawk at the striking landscape while keeping your vehicle in its own lane. About halfway through I pulled over to do a hike up to Brewster hut, which is known for its great views. Didn’t know it would be literally straight up and straight down so here’s some pictures of the top of the trail because the rest of it was a STRUGGLE.

February 11

After staying in a no-stoplight town on the west side (it was a reduced speed zone on the freeway; that was it) I drove back down to see some more glaciers. Hiking through tropical jungles to get to the top of a barren alpine field to see a glacier across a valley is a pretty cool day, I must say so myself. It also looked like a vagina (I think????), which was funny to my juvenile sense of humor.

February 12

Here we are, back to what started off these last two updates: a rainy day. It was a perfect time for a little break in what has turned out to be some go-go-go adventures here in New Zealand. Cozying up with some Netflix, eating peanut butter, and yelling at a stupid house cat to get away from me because I’m allergic made for a nice relaxing day. I managed to get out of the house to go to a nearby gorge, but otherwise your homeboy was a homebody for a day and wouldn’t have changed a thing.

It also gave me time to reflect, so here’s a list of things I’ve learned so far in New Zealand!

Things I’ve Learned (So Far)

• My left leg is stronger than my right
• My right nostril runs more than my left
• Electric kettles make for a surprisingly effective way to hard boil eggs
• While there may be more 4 sheep for every 1 human in New Zealand, there are about 47 flies for every 1 sheep
• ‘Bush line’ only refers to where the trees stop growing and nothing else, apparently
• “Shoo Fly Don’t Bother Me” is an ineffective deterrent, even when sung in a kiwi accent
• I am face-constantly-hitting-stray-cobwebs-on-trails meters tall
• Buy new shoes before the point when you are gluing them back together (thanks for the bad habit, Aunt Mary!)
• French hikers have the worst B.O. German hikers come in a close second.
• Sand flies like me half as much as mosquitos do
• Always sprint to get ahead of the Chinese tour group on a hiking trail when you and the tour bus pull into the parking lot at the same time
• Don’t leave cheese in a car for more than 5 hours
• Gum helps to keep your ears from popping while hiking, as well as suppress hunger from not bringing enough food on your all-day hike
• Take off your shoes when crossing a river; don’t try and jump from rock to rock because you WILL slip and fall
• If it looks like it’s going to rain, it probably will. Expect when it doesn’t, then it didn’t. I don’t make the rules…
• Every day you discover something new, especially after making boneheaded mistakes.

I’ve now got less than a week left here and will be making the most of it. I’ll be back to Australia after this and am already sad knowing my time here is coming to an end. But I know I’ll have milked it for everything I can, leaving pieces of me along the way. Sometimes quite literally.

Until next time,

Ben

It’s raining here in New Zealand today, which means I finally have time to sit down and write an update because like Nic Cage making movies to cover his ballooning castle and dinosaur skeleton debts, I have been going at it NON STOP. After spending most of my time in Australia in major cities, I was excited to spend some time in nature and do some hiking. I was unprepared at how much New Zealand was ready to deliver.

Imagine your favorite lake vacation spot. Now imagine your favorite mountain retreat. Then picture the prettiest river you ever came across. Now think of the most peaceful pond at which you stopped and pondered beauty. Then remember the most amazing beach with the most breathtaking view. Now imagine all of those places combined together into one country, one island even, and you get New Zealand. It is utterly breathtaking how spectacular this country is that it’s hard to put into words. It’s even harder to put into pictures because every photo I’ve taken never looks quite as good as it does in person. But I’ll take you through a little photo diary in my best attempt to try.

January 29

After arriving after midnight, finding out the lodging I booked had closed their checkout at 10pm and staying in an airport motel, I picked up my rental car and made my way out of Christchurch down south towards Dunedin, my first stop. Highlights included cows, sheep, and more cows. Here’s a photo of my car; she likes the beach

January 30

Met up with my fellow world-traveling cousin Lily (from Hawaii to New Zealand!) and we did a couple hikes around Dunedin. The first was a total bust which, given the name of Swampy Summit, probably should’ve been a red flag. The second was incredible, and my first peak into the beauty of New Zealand. Rolling fields stretched out beyond the horizon, reaching to the ocean and the mountain ranges beyond. We also hiked up a cool geologic formation of hexagonal shaped rocks called the organ pipes. We cooled off after at the beach with massive sand dunes and some loud locals who rolled around in the beach and snapped at you if you came too close. There were some seals there too.

There were also penguins that nest up in the cliffs as well, and I managed to get a picture. Weirdly the penguins here are super tiny and grainy as this picture shows. I guarantee it was not at all due to the fact that I was super far away and had to zoom in. That’s just the way they look.

January 31

Got up super early and saw the sunrise at Tunnel Beach and ate hard-boiled eggs on a cliff. Well worth the 5:30am start time.

After that we drove down the coast on our way to the southern-most part of the South Island, Curio Bay. At this remote part is a massive beach that offers dramatic views, frigid waters, roaring surf, and surfing dolphins. That’s right dear readers, this guy got to swim with dolphins in New Zealand. The only way I can help you imagine it is by telling you this: I was splashing in the surf making dolphin noises and shouting “Dolphin!” like they’d come to their name being called; I was grinning the entire time and giggling like a toddler who had just learned the word “fart”; and I was out in the water until my skin was in a permanent state of goose bumps. Quite the magical day.

February 1

After parting ways with Lily I drove West out of Dunedin towards my next destination: Queenstown. As I started getting closer to the mountains I became in awe of the scenery as it grew more and more dramatic. I eventually pulled over to stretch my legs and explore a little bit. An hour later I found myself on top of a mountain, having climbed up there in sandals because “just a little bit further” turned into “just to the top of the ridge” turned into “you’re basically there anyways”, mostly because all the while I was convinced I was in Rohan. This was the first spark that reignited a part of me that I had forgotten had been dormant: Lord of the Rings fangirl. And reader, I have been living that fantasy for the last couple weeks and it has been GLORIOUS.

February 2

Having left Rohan and arrived in Queenstown, I spent my first day there hiking up the nearest mountain in town with one bottle of water, unboiled hard-boiled eggs, an apple, and some nuts. For some reason all of the walking around cities I’d done the last couple weeks didn’t prepare me for the 2 hour climb straight uphill to over 1,700 meters. Not sure why that was the case! Either way, I made it up and down with some effort, but the view was well worth it. Also of note because it was one of the first places on the trip that was so beautiful if made me cry. Definitely wouldn’t be the last. The rest of the day was spent with my legs submerged in the icy waters of the lake. (And for my fellow “Top of the Lake” fans — yes, this is the titular lake)

February 3

Feeling good that I didn’t die on the previous hike, I decided to up the ante and do the Routeburn hike up in Glenorchy, which is the area where a lot of LOTR scenes were filmed. I spent the first hour of the hike with constant goosebumps, as I had the constant feeling I was some tertiary character in the film series about to be offed by an orc in the woods, or a woodland elf who was carrying a barrel or doing something else unimportant yet essential to the lives of my fellow characters (off screen, naturally). It felt like in those moments I understood what it feels like to be Daniel Day Lewis, completely inhabiting a role. I ended up covering over 20 miles that day, and had some of the best views I’ve seen in New Zealand.

February 4

After my triumphant day I kept my moment going and decided to do The Remarkables, a winter ski mountain that has some hiking trails in the summer. I made it to the top of one of the jagged cliffs and wanted to keep going to the highest summit. Well there were multiple unseen canyons and didn’t make it easy to get across. Or get across at all. So I had to slide my way down the rock face like I was some sort of mountain goat but without the hooves and the four legs and the lithe frame and the climbing instincts.

February 5

After my treacherous climb that left my knees feeling shakier than Katy Perry’s voice during a live performance, I decided to take a day off. And by take a day off I mean take a tour of Milford Sound and sit on a bus for 9 hours. But boy oh boy, it was worth it! (Side note: the entire LOTR soundtrack can elevate even the most mundane bus ride into the most epic tour you could go on). A beautiful place even with the intermittent rain, as it caused thousands of waterfalls to stream down from the canyons. Added bonus was that the stormy weather gave me lots of Beyoncé moments with my own natural diva fans. 10/10 would go again.

At this point I’m realizing how many pictures I have from just one week that are also taking forever to load, so I’ll break this up into two parts and update the second week in another post. Besides, I’ve got some more LOTR to watch because I’m going for the fully immersive experience while I’m here. Seems Peter Jackson and I might have more than our inability to edit our content down to manageable lengths in common.

Ben